*Divorced Fathers in Mauritius: A Taboo and Overlooked Reality*

SOS Papa, a Mauritian association, fights for the rights of divorced and separated fathers. Their vision? The well-being of the child. Their goal? To ensure that fathers have the same rights as mothers when it comes to child custody. This is no easy task in a society where custody is often granted predominantly to the mother.

In Mauritius, as in many other countries, divorce is a reality that affects many families. However, behind the statistics and legal procedures lies an often-ignored situation: that of divorced fathers struggling to maintain a connection with their own children.

“Dads suffer when they don’t see their children”, states Social Activist Darmen Appadoo, president of the SOS Papa association. This simple sentence sums up a complex problem that affects many men on our island.

*In the Best Interest of the Child*

Every year, many Mauritian children find themselves caught in the crossfire of divorce. They suffer from the separation from their fathers, especially when conflicts between adults take over. Holidays, which are supposed to be joyous, become difficult times for these separated families. These same children have no say in legal proceedings, the very proceedings which are meant to provide solutions for their well-being.

*The Only Association Actively Fighting Domestic Violence Against Men in Mauritius*

While advocating for the well-being of children, we are also fighting against domestic violence against men. These two battles are intimately linked. Children exposed to domestic violence develop emotional and behavioural issues. In addition, fathers who are victims of violence constantly struggle to maintain a healthy relationship with their children, which affects their long-term development. SOS Papa Moris stresses that domestic violence, regardless of who the victim is, creates a toxic environment for children.

*A Male Minister for Gender Equality*

Surprisingly, the issues of domestic violence against women are taken more seriously by all the Gender Equality Ministers in every government, which are exclusively led by women. These same female ministers have always benefited from the votes of men. However, once elected, they act as feminists and defenders exclusively of women’s rights to the detriment of the men who voted for them. The irony is that the appointment of a man as Minister for Gender Equality has never been supported, but rather derided. And recently, our proposal for the appointment of a man as Ombudsperson for children has also been ignored. The question we are asking is very simple: are men not entitled to work for the well-being of children?

*The Legal Battle*

For many divorced fathers, seeing their children becomes a real obstacle course. The legal procedures are long, costly and often discouraging. SOS Papa has helped many fathers through these complex procedures. Yet, how many others have given up along the way, discouraged by the bureaucracy and discriminatory procedures? Surprisingly, these Visitation Rights and “Droits d’Hebergement” are guaranteed in our laws for fathers.

“Going to court to request to see your own children is hard”, confides a volunteer father from the association. “You feel like a criminal, even though you’ve committed no crime. We just want to be present in our children’s lives and, above all, to enjoy our fatherhood.”

The Mauritian legal system, as in many countries, tends to favour mothers in child custody cases. This situation, created with good intentions, is *legally discriminatory* and has perverse effects on father-child relationships.

*A Taboo Subject*

Perhaps, the most worrying aspect is the silence that surrounds this problem. Many divorced fathers do not dare talk about it because of the fact that the authorities only recognise women as victims. Shame and fear of being judged by others force them to stay silent. They keep their suffering to themselves, which brings serious social and family consequences.

*Testimony*

“I lost my job, my friends and my sanity,” says a father, who wishes to remain anonymous. “I only saw my children twice a month. It’s unbearably unfair.”

These silent despairs drive some men towards destructive behaviours such as alcohol, drugs and gambling, which become dangerous escapes because they are misunderstood and lack appropriate support to find quick and humane solutions. These fathers, already weakened by their situation, automatically fall into social exclusion.

*The Impact on Children*

Children are the first victims of these situations. Growing up without a father can have harmful long-term consequences. “Children need both parents to develop,” explains an expert in family relations. “Even when separated, parents need to put their grudges aside for the sake of their children’s well-being.”

Studies have shown that children of divorced parents who maintain a good relationship with both parents have a better chance of academic and social success. Conversely, children who lose contact with one of their parents may develop behavioural problems or relational difficulties that are harmful to society.

*An Economic and Social Issue*

The problem of divorced fathers is not just a family issue. It’s also an economic and social issue for Mauritius. Fathers who lose their footing in society mean so many workers and citizens who can no longer contribute fully to the life of the country.

“We talk a lot about gender equality in the workplace, but we also need to talk about it in the family,” emphasises a Mauritian sociologist. “A balanced society needs fathers who are present and involved.”

*Solutions to Be Found*

Faced with this situation, voices are rising to call for change. SOS Papa proposes several avenues:

– A review of child custody laws to encourage shared custody where possible.

– Raising awareness of fathers’ rights among judges and social workers.

• Psychological support for fathers in difficulty.

• Information campaigns involving both men and women to break the taboo surrounding this subject.

“We are not in favour of a gender battle over an issue of national interest because men and women are complementary,” insists Darmen Appadoo. “This is a fight for the well-being of children and for a fairer and more equitable society.”

Some countries have already made progress in this area. In France, for example, alternating custody is increasingly common. Mauritius could draw inspiration from these examples to improve this chaotic situation.

*A Call to Action*

The issue of divorced fathers in Mauritius is complex, but not insurmountable. What is needed is collective awareness and concrete action.

Dads themselves must dare to speak out and ask for help when they need it. Mums need to understand the importance of a father’s role, even after separation. Society as a whole needs to be more attentive to this reality, which is visibly ignored.

In Mauritius, as elsewhere, there is still a long way to go to achieve true parental equality after divorce. Nonetheless, every step in this direction is a step towards a more equal and happier society.

*Written words that remain are better than fine ones that evaporate*

During elections, fine words are grandiose and pleasant to hear, but all voters know very well that the written words fade away like an echo once the election is over. We say this with full knowledge of the facts because we have submitted several dossiers summarising our observations and proposing concrete solutions, but unfortunately our efforts seem to have fallen on deaf ears within the institutions and authorities concerned. We are therefore appealing to the politicians involved in this current legislative election, in the hope that our plea will be taken into consideration for a better future for our fellow citizens.

On a final note, we hope that the elections will be conducted in a calm and respectful manner towards everyone.

Thank you to all,

Darmen Appadoo

President, SOS PAPA MORIS